Is the ‘Love Yourself’ Movement Missing the Point? A Bhakti Perspective
Self-love is trending, but does it truly heal us?
The phrase “Love Yourself” is everywhere. It’s in self-help books, on social media posts, and even in the lyrics of popular songs. It’s a movement that encourages self-acceptance, self-care, and embracing who we are—flaws and all. At first glance, it sounds like a healthy, much-needed message in a world where many struggle with self-worth. But is it enough? Or is it missing something deeper?
From a bhakti perspective, the concept of “loving yourself” takes on a different dimension. Krishna’s teachings challenge us to look beyond the self we are conditioned to identify with—our body, personality, achievements, and failures—and instead discover our real self, the eternal soul (atma). And here’s where the modern self-love movement falls short: it often stops at the surface, encouraging us to embrace an identity that is, at best, temporary and, at worst, misleading.
So, let’s take a deep dive into the “Love Yourself” philosophy, where it falls short, and how a bhakti approach can lead to something far more fulfilling than mere self-acceptance.
The Good in the ‘Love Yourself’ Movement
Before we critique it, let’s acknowledge that the self-love movement does address some real issues:
Encouraging Self-Acceptance: Many people struggle with self-criticism, unrealistic societal standards, and feelings of inadequacy. The idea of accepting yourself, as you are, can be incredibly liberating.
Promoting Mental Well-being: Messages of self-love often remind people to take care of their mental and emotional health—something that’s often neglected in a world obsessed with productivity.
Shifting Away from External Validation: The movement encourages people to seek validation from within rather than depending on others for self-worth.
All of this sounds good—and to an extent, it is. But the question is: which self are we actually loving?
The Fundamental Flaw: Loving the Wrong Self
Most self-love teachings focus on loving our material identity—our body, personality, emotions, and even ego. But from a bhakti perspective, this is an incomplete understanding of who we are.
In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna explains:
"As boyhood, youth and old age are for the embodied (the soul) in this body, similar is the attainment of another body; this being so, a wise man is never bewildered seeing such changes." (BG 2.13)
This verse makes a crucial distinction: We are not our body or our temporary identities. Our real self—the soul (atma)—is eternal and distinct from all the labels we carry in this life.
So when we say “love yourself,” which self are we referring to? The one that constantly changes, or the one that is beyond birth and death?
Modern self-love often focuses on loving an ever-changing, temporary self, which inevitably leads to contradictions:
We tell ourselves to embrace our flaws, but what happens when those flaws harm others or hold us back?
We try to accept our emotions, but emotions are fleeting and unstable. Should we love ourselves even when we act out of anger or selfishness?
We take pride in our identity, but identities shift—what happens when we no longer resonate with the labels we once embraced?
This is where bhakti brings clarity. Loving the self isn’t about indulging the ego; it’s about reconnecting with the real self—our soul—and directing that love toward the divine source, Krishna.
Bhakti: From Self-Love to Soul-Love
Krishna teaches that true fulfillment doesn’t come from loving the temporary self, but from realizing our relationship with Him. In the Bhagavad Gita, He says:
"He who knows Me as the unborn and the beginningless, and also as the Supreme Lord of all the worlds — he, among the mortals, is non-deluded, and is liberated from all sins." (BG 10.3)
Real self-love, in the deepest sense, is about understanding that we are eternal, divine beings meant for a loving relationship with Krishna. Instead of just “loving ourselves” in isolation, bhakti redirects that love toward something higher.
Here’s how a bhakti approach to self-love is different:
Loving Ourselves as Krishna’s Parts and Parcels
We are not independent beings floating in the universe; we are eternally connected to Krishna. Loving ourselves means recognizing that we belong to Him, and therefore, our ultimate joy comes from serving and loving Him in return.Detaching from the Ego
The self-love movement often reinforces the idea that our ego is worth embracing. Bhakti, on the other hand, teaches that real peace comes from transcending the ego. Krishna tells Arjuna:
“One who does not rejoice, does not hate, does not lament, does not crave (does not hanker for sense-objects), renounces the dualities of good and evil (accepting everything as Krishna’s wish), being filled with devotion, is dear to Me.” (BG 12.17)
True self-love isn’t about inflating the ego; it’s about realizing we are much more than our egos.Finding Purpose Beyond Self-Obsession
Loving yourself can sometimes turn into self-obsession—constantly analyzing, fixing, and pampering ourselves. But Krishna calls us to something greater when he asks us to abandon all varieties of dharma and simply surrender unto Him. (BG 18.66)
Instead of making ourselves the center of the universe, bhakti teaches us to focus on Krishna, and in doing so, we naturally develop deeper self-worth, confidence, and inner peace.
What Happens When Self-Love Lacks Bhakti?
When the self-love movement lacks spiritual depth, it can lead to unintended consequences:
Justifying Bad Behavior: “This is just who I am” becomes an excuse to avoid growth. Bhakti reminds us that we are meant to evolve, not stagnate.
Temporary Relief, Not Lasting Joy: External self-care (spa days, affirmations, etc.) may help temporarily, but they don’t address the deep longing of the soul for connection with the divine.
Self-Absorption Instead of Self-Realization: Instead of getting lost in self-analysis, bhakti helps us rise above the mind and experience true joy.
A Bhakti-Based Self-Love Practice
So, how can we cultivate real self-love, rooted in bhakti? Here are a few practical steps:
Chant Krishna’s Names: The more we chant, the more we remember our divine connection.
See Yourself as a Servant, Not an Owner: We don’t own this body or mind—they are gifts from Krishna. Taking care of them is an act of gratitude, not indulgence.
Seek Higher Knowledge: Reading scriptures like the Bhagavad Gita helps us see beyond temporary identities.
Offer Love, Not Just to Yourself, But to Krishna and Others: Real love isn’t about self-obsession; it’s about expanding that love beyond ourselves.
Conclusion: From Loving Yourself to Loving Krishna
The “Love Yourself” movement has its merits, but it often stops at the surface. From a bhakti perspective, true self-love isn’t just about accepting who we are—it’s about realizing who we truly are: eternal souls connected to Krishna.
When we shift our focus from self-indulgence to self-realization, we unlock a deeper, more fulfilling kind of love—one that isn’t bound by fleeting emotions or societal trends, but rooted in divine truth.
So, should you love yourself? Yes—but not in the way the world tells you to. Love yourself as Krishna’s eternal servant, and direct that love toward Him. That’s where real fulfillment lies.
Let me know your thoughts—have you ever felt the limitations of the modern self-love movement? How has bhakti helped you see yourself differently? I’d love to hear your reflections!